Love's Darkness
by FringeDivision2008
Summary: Peter understands why he's changing and it has nothing to do with the device but everything to do with his love for Olivia. Post Reciprocity
1. Peter I

Love's Darkness

Spoilers: Over There 1&2, all of Season 3 but mainly Reciprocity.

Disclaimer: Really? You're asking again?

* * *

He didn't wonder why he was so aggressive, he knew why...he knew what was happening and although Walter assumed it was the weapon it wasn't...it was her and him.

His biological father had ruined his life, not by trying to take him back or using him for a weapon because he could have dealt with that...the man had used his love for Olivia and turned it inside out. Twisting it to suit his agenda, harming Olivia had been the final straw...she'd come back stronger in some ways but broken in others.

Olivia's alternate had done the most damage, she's taken his love and twisted it as well...not caring about the fall out or his emotions in the end. He knew shooting her would have felt right but they had needed her for information...however she escaped and with her the secrets she held.

* * *

He'd never loved a woman like he loved Olivia, solely without reason...he'd die for her. His love for his mother wasn't equal but it was up there, Olivia was his one and only love...the only person he felt he belonged with.

When she came back broken and hurt he wanted to hold her but the betrayal was too much. Telling her had been hard and he knew it would change everything, even loose her but he owed her the truth after so many lies.

When she pushed him away he broke...the anger he held deep inside surfaced and he did the only thing he could...find information. He had copied the alternate's hard drive before it could be taken and used it to get answers. Olivia's need to find them drove it further...his anger was so much he wanted to grab a gun, hop universes and kill both of them but he couldn't.

His anger was strong but so was his loyalty...to Walter, a man who was ultimately the only father he knew. To the FBI, who gave him a free pass and a new start, something he owed his life to now. To Astrid, who was the only one to help him when he couldn't handle Walter anymore and to her, to his Olivia. He had to protect her, save her...love her even if from a distance.

* * *

She was coming back to him slowly, laughing and smiling genuinely once again. The days before she had said they could get past it...he knew deep down they'd never get past it. She'd always carry the anger and he'd always carry the guilt...those two months would always be the unseen elephant in the room.

The only thing he could do for her, to love her when all else failed, was to end the war so she could have a life. He may not be the one she married or had a family with, his dreams of little girls with blond hair and deep green eyes who had no fear were long gone...that dream was gone as was the dream of holding Olivia in his arms every night. He'd never have her like that and as much as it hurt, it was for the best because in the end he'd probably break her heart by sacrificing himself.

* * *

He would get the answers she sought, save the world she treasured and allow her the safety of her career when all else failed. He wouldn't saddle her with Walter if he died, he'd already arranged for that with Broyles in case something happened. He wouldn't leave her responsible with everything...she needed her life, she needed the control and what he needed most was for her to continue to be the Olivia he knew and loved.

He loved her and only her...she was the reason for the change but he'd never blame her for it because in the end...it was all for her...

Olivia Dunham, the woman he loved more then his own life.

* * *

A/N: Just some inner thought on Peter...him knowing why he was changing and why he didn't say anything to Walter when Walter tried to tell him in the end.


	2. Olivia I

Love's Darkness

Spoilers: Over There 1&2, all of Season 3 but mainly Reciprocity.

Disclaimer: Really? You're asking again?

* * *

Two days after everything, Olivia picked up the phone and called Peter. He answered this time and she couldn't help but smile when he said her name.

"Evening 'Livia, what does the FBI have on the menu tonight...dead scientist, crazy animal...I mean the list goes on or is it something we've never seen before?"

She gave a small chuckle, "no, I was wondering if you'd like to get a drink...O'Malley's is having a trivia night and winner gets free drinks. I thought with your genius and my memory skills we could have some fun and come out without paying."

He was silent, "not tonight...I have to clean up around here, its a mess."

"Oh, okay...goodnight Peter." Olivia hung up confused, she had all but called it a date and he had turned her down.

* * *

The next week she called and asked if he wanted to and again he shot her down, claiming he had to help Walter with something but Walter said Peter had stayed up reading for most of the night.

The week after she called on the same Thursday and he shot her down yet again, this time she had called their outing a date and he said it wasn't a good idea. She was comforted by the fact he hadn't made an excuse.

The fourth Thursday he just let his phone go to voice mail, she cried half the night before pulling on his MIT shirt she had kept and cried herself to sleep. The next day she showed no signs of having been hurt, giving Peter a smile when she saw him.

She didn't bother the fifth week, instead she stayed in and watched a scientific documentary on the theory of parallel universes...she laughed at most of it as she knew better then they did.

* * *

But the Friday after that fifth Thursday, she found Peter at home as it was their day off. Walter let her in when she knocked.

"Oh Olivia, come in." She walked in, dressed in jeans and a black shirt, she placed her coat on the nearby rack and turned to Walter.

"Is Peter here or is he out?"

Walter smiled, "he's upstairs in his room, going over some theories...go on up."

* * *

She gave a small smile and headed upstairs, she found Peter standing before a white board that had pictures of every shapeshifter they knew, every person related to the cause and of course names.

"They should hire you at the FBI for Theory Analysis." Olivia smiled when he turned, "what are you working on?"

He capped the dry erase marker and moved away, sitting down. "It doesn't matter, why are you here?"

Olivia bit her lip, "I know I'm not the easiest person to get to know and I tend to keep people at arms length. You've been avoiding me...I'm trying Peter, trying to be open with you, trying to find opportunities to be with you but you turn me down every time or make excuses. Why are you pushing me away...I thought you wanted this, I thought you wanted us."

"I did," he looked at her and Olivia noticed his use of past tense. "But everything changed, when he did this he changed everything...I have to find answers and I have to end this. When its over, maybe that'll be our chance but not now...not with the world at stake."

"It could be too late by then, one of us could be dead."

He nodded, "maybe but I let my guard down once and it nearly cost your life...I won't risk it again, I won't blind myself only to have you end up dead."

"So its about me...my life, you're pushing me away to try to keep me safe. Peter my life has never been safe but having you, having you beside me has made me feel safe. Please...don't do this."

* * *

He stood and turned back to the board, "you should go, Christmas is in a few weeks and I know you're spending it with Ella and Rachel...you'll have things to do before you go."

"Peter..."

"Go Olivia."

She touched his arm and instead of him turning and being gentle, he swung at her and she landed against the wall. Stunned by the force, Olivia slowly got herself up and saw Peter, he was just starring at her with a look she had never seen before...something between anger and vengeance, the same look Walternate had when he had looked at her in the cell.

Tears filled her eyes and she shook her head, "you're just like him, you're your father's son."

* * *

She left in a hurry and ran down the stairs, Walter looked at her as she pulled on her coat in a hurry. "Olivia...are you alright?"

"He's changed," Olivia looked at Walter, "he's not my Peter...I lost him."

She wiped at the tears as she left, outside in her car she broke down and knew everything had changed...Peter had changed and he was no longer the man she loved, he was someone different.

The next Monday she walked into the lab with no smile and didn't even look at Peter the entire day...because to her, he wasn't Peter anymore and it hurt more then when she found out he had slept with her alternate.

* * *

A/N: I thought I'd add Olivia's views...


	3. Peter II

Love's Darkness

Spoilers: Over There 1&2, all of Season 3 but mainly Reciprocity.

Disclaimer: Really? You're asking again?

* * *

She didn't smile again, Peter watched her for an entire week...she didn't smile or even look his way. Most of the time she stayed at the federal building and with no case there was no reason for her to come to the lab.

He tried to call but she ignored his calls, when he saw her she ignored him and the anger he had suddenly turned to regret...regret for everything he'd ever done.

He still drew a blank on what he had done, he remembered talking to her and telling her to leave and the next she was gone, Walter asking what he had done to make Olivia leave in a hurry, said she was crying when she left.

Olivia rarely cried, he's witnessed it maybe three times in the three years he'd known her. If she had cried then he had done something horrible...something he had to know about.

* * *

So he stood before her office door at the federal building, knocking once. Her voice called out to enter so he did and closed the door behind himself. Olivia just looked at him as he walked over.

"Why are you here?"

"What did I do, what did I say?"

She looked at him in disbelief, "you know what you did...how can you look me in the face and ask me what you did."

Peter shook his head, "I'm drawing a blank...I swear on the fact you can shoot me this instant that I don't know what I did. I remember you talking to me last week, in my room and I asked you to leave. I turned back to the board and the next thing I know Walter is asking me why you left in a hurry and crying. I need to know what I did...what did I do?"

* * *

The hurt on her face turned to concern, he knew all her facial expressions by heart. "You don't remember..."

"No, please...tell me what I did, I don't care how stupid or violent it was...please tell me what I did to make your smile disappear and for you to stop talking to me."

"You swung at me and I hit the wall, I landed so hard I fell to the floor. When I looked at you, all you did was stare and you...you had that same look he did."

* * *

Peter sat down and stared at her, "who...what look?"

"Walternate, when he had me caged like an animal, begging to be let out...that's the look you had."

He couldn't believe he had hurt her, the woman he loved, he had hurt her and far worse he didn't remember it. He had blacked out...lost control with no memory of it and hurt her.

"Olivia...I'm sorry." He stood up, "I'm so sorry..."

Leaving the room, he heard her small whisper but no smile came. "I forgive you."

* * *

A/N: Thought I'd continue...next will be a second one of Olivia's...a little more in character as the last was a bit off OOC, plus she realizes why Peter hurt her in previous chapter.


	4. Olivia II

Love's Darkness

Spoilers: Over There 1&2, all of Season 3 but mainly Reciprocity.

Disclaimer: Really? You're asking again?

* * *

Olivia found herself surprised that Peter didn't remember, the look on his face when he admitted it and begged her to tell him what he did was sincere. She knew Walter knew something so she offered to take him out to dinner, anywhere he wanted...Peter said he would make it up to her but thanked her for the night alone to think.

"How about Fong's Chinese?" Walter looked at Olivia as they walked to the car.

"Sounds good Walter, get in and don't forget your seatbelt."

* * *

They sat down at the restaurant and ordered before Olivia broached the subject. Walter looked at her as he sipped his tea. "Is something the matter Olivia, you seemed worried."

"Peter's having blackouts, he can't even remember throwing me into a wall. That day I visited, we talked but when I went to touch him he was different...he pushed me into the wall and just stared as if I was nothing to him. He asked what he did wrong yesterday, he didn't know and the look on his face when I told him...he was shocked." She sighed, "you know something, I need to know what is happening, please Walter."

Walter nodded remorsefully, "its the weapon, when he touched part of it on the other side, it weaponized him...Olivia he's the one who did it, I watched him do it."

"What did he do Walter?"

* * *

He leaned in, "he killed the shapeshifters...with no remorse and Peter has remorse for everyone, even his enemies. I'm scared of what he's becoming and the fact he hurt you, he shouldn't have because of how much he loves you. This infernal device is stronger then love and that means its dangerous as there's no greater power in the universe then love."

That didn't throw her like she expected, she knew Peter loved her but she didn't realize that Walter assumed Peter would never hurt her because of that love...was he really beyond help then?

They ate, finding new things to talk about but it seemed both of them were genuinely worried about Peter and this new issue with him. They had to find out the extent of the weaponization before it was too late for Peter.

* * *

Peter was sitting outside on the porch steps waiting, he was looking at the stars as he did so. Olivia walked Walter up and was surprised when Peter met her with a smile.

"Hey, did you two have a good time?"

"Very much so, I have to use the bathroom so excuse me." Walter hurried inside and Olivia chuckled.

"No goodbye I guess." She looked at Peter, "we talked about a lot of things but mainly you. We both think you should go for some tests...considering Falcon was a shapeshifter he could have withheld real results."

Peter nodded, "I guess I should...you know what I did don't you?"

"Yeah but I understand it wasn't you," she sighed, "because the Peter I know wouldn't kill in cold blood and it doesn't matter that they were shapeshifters. I know you want answers just as much as I do but we need to do it the right way...I have to tell Broyles the truth and I don't know what he'll do but I will be there every step of the way."

Peter nodded, "I'm sorry...I want you to know I am sorry, about everything."

"I know Peter," she smiled and took a step forward, curling into him. Peter put his arms around her and leaned his cheek against her crown.

Olivia felt him stiffen and backed away instantly, he had the same look in his eye as he did a week before. "Peter?"

* * *

It dawned on Olivia that every time she touched him he reverted, backing up she watched as he slowly blinked and eyed her. "Olivia?" She noticed he frowned, "what happened...what did I do?"

"Nothing but I'm the reason...every time I touch you, you change. I have to go, I'll pick you and Walter up for Massive Dynamic in the morning."

Olivia got in her SUV and drove home, wondering why she of all people made Peter revert till Walter's words came back to her. The weaponization wanted to win, making sure nothing would stop Peter from using the device when the time came, so it did the only thing it could do...turn him against the one thing he loved. Human nature was to turn away from something dangerous so it was turning Peter into something dangerous...against her so she wouldn't try to stop him. She only wondered how she could win past it...because Walter was right...

Nothing in the universe was more powerful then love and their love crossed universes, it was deep and irrevocable...unbending and unchanging. It was the deepest type and the device considered her a threat because she could change his mind...

And she would, she vowed to save Peter like he had saved her.

* * *

A/N: Next Peter goes for tests and has to face Broyles for what he did...the chapter after that we learn how Olivia overcomes the issue of her touch causing Peter to revert.


	5. Peter III

Love's Darkness

Spoilers: Over There 1&2, all of Season 3 but mainly Reciprocity.

Disclaimer: Really? You're asking again?

* * *

Peter stood outside with Walter, they'd come to do that so Olivia didn't have to get out and come inside...leaving her from becoming less frustrated. The FBI's new 2011 Ford Edge model drove up and inside was Olivia.

Both got in and Olivia handed them both coffee, Peter noticed she was careful with Walter's.

"Careful Walter, this car is new...there's also a bear claw back there for you."

"Oh thank you Olivia...you didn't by chance bring the video player I asked you for to play my lecture did you?"

Olivia chuckled and pulled down the DVD player that was in the back, he gave her the DVD and she put it in. Peter was thankful as the ride would be filled with quiet when Walter didn't give the occasional comment of the lecturer's incompetence.

* * *

Peter watched Olivia finally drive off and head towards New York, midway she turned off the radio and sat quietly as if waiting for him to speak. He tried to reach for her hand and she pulled it into her lap.

"I can't let you," she looked at him for a second before turning back to the road. "Every time I touch you it causes you to revert...I think I know why but I won't say anything till the tests are completed."

"I'm sorry," he sighed and looked out the window, "I never thought...it doesn't make any sense why you're the one who causes this. You should be the one that stops it...in the beginning I'd forget about the anger when I saw you...I still do but why your touch?"

* * *

The rest of the ride was silent but pulling into the parking lot they found Broyles and two agents waiting. As soon as he's out of the car, Broyles looks at him and sighs, shaking his head.

"I once wondered about you Peter, if you'd turn on us for greed or just stupidity and over the past two years I've come to trust you, with my life and that of my agents. I'm honestly surprised at this and I want you to know, we will get to the bottom of it but until we do you'll have to hand in your badge and have an FBI agent with you always."

"I understand," he dug into his pocket and removed the badge, handing it over. "Just not Olivia, I seem to hurt her too much."

Broyles chuckled, "well I'd be careful, she nearly took off my head when I told her Jessup would be taking on your detail...she insisted on doing it herself. I think it would be good, give you two time to talk things over."

Olivia walked over as Broyles finished, "ready to go?"

* * *

Peter nodded and noticed she walked with him down the hallways, not leaving at all. He changed with Brandon in the room, apparently he'd be doing the tests and Peter could say he trusted the man.

Getting back in the chamber was okay, Olivia was there and smiled at him. "Hey, I'll be right here."

"Olivia," he tried to reach up to touch her cheek but stopped remembering she didn't want him touching her. "I'm sorry...I thought I was doing for you, I didn't realize I was doing it because of you. I don't blame you though...so don't blame yourself."

She smiled and Peter found himself relieved at that smile, "its Thursday...what do you say to a trivia round after this...you buy if we don't win, that's making up for owing me for last night."

Peter chuckled, "sounds good, well I guess I'll see you on the other side...wow wrong choice of words."

"Yeah, they don't hold that meaning anymore."

Brandon nodded and the bed slid in, Peter watched Olivia till she was out of sight. He could honestly say since everything, since realizing that Olivia had been the unintentional cause all along, he felt more sinless and more open to her.

Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to dream of those little girls with blond hair and green eyes that gave him heart attacks because they had no fear. He looked forward to their date and what it would bring in the future...at the moment his only real challenge was not trying to touch her.

* * *

A/N: Next is the last chapter of this and I'll start the sequel called 'Love's Brightness' which will cover Peter's slow recovery and his relationship with Olivia.


	6. Olivia III

Love's Darkness

Spoilers: Over There 1&2, all of Season 3 but mainly Reciprocity.

Disclaimer: Really? You're asking again?

* * *

Olivia stood before her mirror for the second time that year, she checked her make up and her clothes...deciding to go with jeans and another black shirt. Pulling on her coat, she undid her hair, she knew Peter liked it down.

Smiling, she grabbed her keys and phone before heading out, she was locking her door when her phone rang. It was Peter, "hey I'm on my way."

_"Good because Astrid just got here and I'm getting questions from both of them I do not want to answer and they do not have to do with the tests I did today. Hang on a moment." _Olivia heard a muffled voice assuming it was Peters and what was said made her almost laugh._ "Walter I am not having a conversation with you on what type of condoms I use...go away." _Seconds later he was back on the phone,_ "sorry...Walter was being Walter."_

"Could be worse."

Peter's chuckle made her smile more, _"really how so?"_

"He could ask to be in the bedroom during sex."

_"Agh, you just had to say that on purpose didn't you?"_ She laughed, _"God I miss that laugh, I guess if it gets you laughing then I can deal with it. So time frame because I suspect you're either getting into your car or about to pull off, I can't hear traffic."_

"I'm getting in the car now, I'll be there soon...is your brain turned on?"

Peter chuckled, _"if you mean I'm ready to go toe to toe with a couple of amateurs...oh I'm ready."_

"Your ego could use some work Mr. Bishop, I'll be there soon."

* * *

Olivia found herself somehow surprised that Peter managed to take off her coat without touching her, he placed it on the back of her chair after pulling it out for her. He sat down across from her and immediately shots of whiskey were ordered.

"Okay, so you were in the UK...you know how these are played right?" She looked at him and he chuckled, about to touch her hands but let his hand fall on the table.

"Yeah I know how to play, the question is are you ready Miss I'm-the-Best?"

She smiled and nodded, looking up when the whiskey was placed down with sheets of paper and two pens. "Good luck, those who take the hard stuff usually screw themselves over."

"Oh she could probably drink half of this room under the table and still come up sober." Olivia rolled her eyes at Peter's comment.

* * *

"Peter!" Olivia turned to see a woman coming over, she instantly hugged Peter and for some odd reason she felt a stab of jealousy run through her...it was their first date after all.

"Tessa, what are you doing here?"

She smiled, "I saw you and had to come say hello, please introduce me to your lady friend. I'm Tessa Carlson."

"Olivia Dunham, FBI." Olivia watched the woman's face drop and look at Peter. "You must be from Peter's days as a conman...he doesn't talk much about them and as a federal agent I don't ask."

"You're bunking down with the FBI every night?" Tessa looked at Peter, "are you insane...you still haven't...you know."

Peter chuckled, "I have bigger fish to fry at the moment Tess and Big Eddie doesn't really bother me. Believe me, my new job scares the hell out of me...more so then he could. Besides, I have my partner there to protect me..." he looked at Olivia and she smiled.

"Your partner...you you're working for the FBI, not just sleeping with them...you really have changed haven't you?" Tessa smiled and nodded, "good, you were never meant for that life and to be honest...having my surrogate big brother falling on his ass only to get shot isn't what I want." She looked at Olivia, who eyed her. "I'm glad he has you and thank you for helping him...I should go, you two have fun."

She kissed Peter's cheek and left, Olivia turned her head to watch her go...Tess had a man put an arm around her and kiss her head. "Look at that."

"Big change from the guy who used to beat her...better actually," he smiled, "I'm sorry Olivia, about that."

She smiled, "no big deal...we can all have friends, so...surrogate big brother?"

* * *

She watched Peter chuckle and launch into explaining how Tess and him met but she eventually stopped him because of the illegal acts he was mentioning. It was however the start of their trivia night.

"Question four is, which is bigger...Australia or Europe minus Russia?"

Olivia looked at Peter, "Europe is around nine million square miles with Russia but without it Australia is bigger."

"Having seen both continents I have to agree, Australia it is."

* * *

Both grabbed for the pen and their hands touched, Olivia jerked her hand back and waited. Peter didn't seem to phase or revert, he acted normal. He looked at her expectantly as she starred at him.

"What is it?"

"I touched you yet you showed no signs of reverting, I'm waiting."

Peter hand the waiter their paper as he passed by and looked at Olivia, she was waiting but she saw no change. Reaching out, she touched his hand and held it, testing his reaction.

* * *

He neither stiffened or moved, "did they give you anything at Massive Dynamic, I left because of my phobia of needles."

"A shot of Cortexiphan, which I wasn't too thrilled about but Walter said he wanted to see if it worked...is it working?"

Olivia nodded, "I'm holding your hand and there's no reaction to my touch...the Cortexiphan must suppress the violent tendencies."

Peter chuckled, "so now I'm going to have to have regular doses of Cortexiphan? It could be worse...I could hurt everyone again."

"You could but its not you hurting us...its the changes due to the DNA. I figured out why you revert every time I touch you and its okay because I know, I see it when you look at me. Both Walter and I agree that the machine is protecting itself...it prevents the user from trying to back out by making them a weapon. So it knocks out all connections so no one will stop it...the fact you love me makes me the danger so its trying to make you push me away."

* * *

Peter looked at her and Olivia knew his eyes held guilt, she squeezed his hand. "I never meant for this to happen."

"None of us did Peter and you're right...this shouldn't be happening but we're fighting it. You may have to have regular doses of Cortexiphan to function but at least I'll be safe to touch you."

"That I can live with," he sighed, "okay, moving on...are you enjoying this?"

"I am."

* * *

Later that night, Olivia drove Peter back to his house and came inside with him. Due to his status as questionable, an FBI agent had to be with him at all times...she would be sleeping in the guestroom across the hall.

Peter found her coming out the bathroom and smiled, touching the hem of his shirt. "It looks good on you...makes you appear smarter."

She smiled, "I'm heading to bed but you should know I'm a light sleeper...the smallest things wake me."

"I won't run off." Peter placed a hand on her cheek and Olivia leaned into it, she felt as if she was home finally...his soothing touch welcoming her. He kissed her head and smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow morning...I had a really good time."

Olivia smiled, nodding to him. "So did I...goodnight." She turned to leave but he grabbed her arm gently and spun her around, kissing her before pulling back and walked into his room, shutting his door.

Olivia smirked as she crawled into the guest bed and turned off the light. With the Cortexiphan he'd be back to normal, it was an unusual method of treatment but he was an usual case and also he wouldn't be violent. Snuggling between the sheets, she felt safe and took comfort in the fact Peter was holding her as she wore his MIT shirt and he was physically in the next room. She had her Peter back finally and she was glad.

* * *

A/N: And that is the end of Love's Darkness...Love's Brightness's first chapter should be up tomorrow afternoon.


End file.
